Saturday, December 13, 2008

The Spy Book Genre Writers Should Study My Life...

War games, espionage, KGB/CIA etc. That's nothing. We're talking about true mind games here, memory erasing, everything. Only a select few know the classified dealings of the innermost sanctums of our lovely United States government. For this level of concern, I must have known something or been something truly dangerous even though I was only a newborn baby. Maybe my birthmother or father knew something they shouldn't have and this was their punishment. So the plan moved forward. Let's take a look at the secret meeting. Pan left on the scene opener where I was given a substitute family for "my own good". Hell, they done themselves good! They are scoring themselves a bonus because they say I even look like my substitute family. It's all too perfect. The ruse is completed with a nice pat on the back. Now the kicker is to say that this child must never know. We will lock up her identity and make it so she never finds out the truth. She might even grow up knowing she's with a substitute family. In fact, we'll encourage it. These new parents should let her know how she was "saved " and that she is "special" and what "blessing" she is. But all of this is top secret classified. Everything is done by intermediaries. The more "cloak and dagger" the better. Why is all this stuff "for my own good?" Because I am………….A BASTARD CHILD! 32 years later I'm still a bastard child, not a bastard adult! Oh the horrors! I need to be protected from my illegitimacy, from the stain of my birthparents' sin.

I have a few words to say to these lovely people!

Oh wonderful day! You have saved me from myself. You have protected my parents from ever having to face the consequences of their actions. How can I ever begin to thank you oh mighty and fallible US government and corrupt and sanctimonious adoption industry? Truthfully, you really have not done any of us any favors in the way you do business. I am not a state secret. I am not a commodity to sell to the parents willing to pay the highest bid. I am a human being. I may not have been created in the "ideal" state of marital love but that does not mean that I don't deserve my roots just as much as any other human being. My life is a paradox. I have dual realities to live with. I was both chosen and denied. Do have any idea of the confusion and helplessness that comes from trying to reconcile these dual realities? There are some valuable tools that are missing thanks to you. It gets kind of tricky improvising too. It's just a whole rat's nest that is difficult to explain and it's sad that I even have to say these things. So here's a novel idea! Let my birth parents and I decide if we want to be in each other's lives. Biological ties exist for a reason. By holding my information for ransom you are profiting from my losses and deciding what is best for me. Who are you to make that decision for me? Who are you trying to protect? Why do you keep tying hands when the logic that pervaded in the past has been proven wrong time and time again? Us adoptees and birth families are hurting big time. We don't need to be protected. We need the truth. Please stop profiting off our pain and let us make the decisions we need to make for our relationships. If some of your dirty dealings in this area are exposed then the public will be all the better for it. We already ready know you make mistakes. We see evidence of it every day. Quit trying to make yourselves look better than you are!


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