Christmas was always super fun for me growing up. I used to love decorating especially. I would harrass my parents endlessly to ask them when we could put up them up. Finally, when I was about 10 or 11 they just let me take care of it altogether. I would decorate to my heart's content. Then I would sleep on the sofa as much as I could over the course of the month so I could bask in the glow of the Christmas lights. I loved everything from the presents to the goodies that we would deliver to friends on Christmas. But then again, I was a kid and Christmas is for the kids. At least the commercialized version that we all live with today.
Christmas since I have been an adult is another story. Now I buy my own stocking stuffers. I still get a kick out of decorating the tree. But Christmas itself is not nearly as much as when I was a kid. I used to think it would be great to work retail when I was a kid. I had "Miracle on 34th Street" type pictures running through my head about how jolly and fun it would be....especially during the holidays. But I got my wish and learned the meaning the hard way of "be careful what you wish for". I did it for four years and I must say that those were the most depressing Christmases of my life. Watching people storm the store on Black Friday started out as slightly amusing and turned to just shaking my head in dismay over the years. People's evil twins inhabited their bodies for that month. Screaming, clawing bloody commercialism at its finest....or worst. Add in the extra hours to keep everything in tip top shape and it was a bad combination for me the underpaid retail worker. I quickly came to understand why people indulge in "holiday cheer" so much. They need all the liquor or whatever they use to cope with all the madness. Me.....I just slept because it was such a precious commodity. Each year I did it I swore I would never do it again. It was not my "Miracle" vision and all the joy that I used to feel at the season soon left. I learned to dread the holidays.
Not this year! I'm unemployed. So I know that I could have the opportunity to ruin another Christmas just for the sake of having a job for a few weeks and praying that it goes permanent. Sorry....not for me! Places really aren't hiring holiday help with this whole "bailout-and-HOPEFULLY-it pulls the country-out-of-the-crapper" thing going on. Honestly I'm OK with it. Yeah the money situation sucks. But I'm ready to feel the real magic of Christmas again. I can feel it creeping up on me. I felt it yesterday when I hauled out all my decorations and my hand-me-down fake tree and just decked it out. The feeling that I had as I surveyed my work and sat there in its glow was just like I remembered it as a kid. Seeing all the ads for sales and bargains and seeing the blatant hallmarks of commercialism are still annoying and very saddening. Christmas is making a true comeback for me and for all the "flaws" in my situation...... I wouldn't have it any other way!